We all make mistakes; it’s human to err. However, there are a few that could cost you your whole life. This page reflects my thoughts, my time, and my fight.
— KR
I, KR, was born and raised in Hyderabad, Telangana, right from childhood. I was not interested in studies. I was seen as a failure by my parents. My school life was messy; Dad had to visit the school each year to get me promoted (lol).
While in high school, I had to leave the house as my dad & mom wrestled and beat me for every small stuff, the kind of reward we get when we don’t study well & stay at home. Dad was very supportive, I requested him to let me complete my studies, and I couldn’t stay in the house. Dad finds me a spot at a friend’s house. I finished the 10th standard with an 80% score. Bingo! My teachers were surprised by the score.
“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”
I relocated to Bangalore, Karnataka, to complete college. Dad used to give funds not adequate for three meals, eat once or twice to save for the next day. Visited the hometown on trucks and slept in bus stops & parks to save rentals. There was no point sweating 12 hours a day being unable to eat a full meal without anyone to share or talk about the struggle. I get to agree with the brutal reality of life. It has to continue in whatever form. Now that it’s clear, I put my best efforts into focusing on my career. It was no looking back for me, and I found a job at an MNC.
At my cousin’s wedding, someone noticed me and set up a meeting to discuss my marriage. Yah! Yah! Why not? It was a blessing in disguise. I agreed to meet; I said yes. After 6 years, I was happily married and blessed with a boy. Life was on a high ride; I made progress in my career. I became a Principal Engineer at a top tech giant. Everything was going great: lovely wife, great job, wonderful kid.
About the time when the kid was 3 years old, I changed to a different company & profile; I was trying to settle into a new job. My wife started missing my presence at home, and I was always busy at the office + commuting 3 hours a day + in late-night meetings. We try to adjust to facts. Slowly, the distance grew far more than we imagined.
We hardly see & talk. Asked me to choose between a job or a marriage. Going by my initial life struggle, I explained the importance of money and career, and she was not ready to buy this shit, I was angry, frustrated, and not thinking from her side. She finally moves out of the house. I go back to work as if nothing happened. I was assuming she would return once the anger diminished. I did not act wisely. Things went too far; my behavior appeared as not responsible, ignorant, inconsiderate not loving, and caring. I get a notice in the next 6 months seeking a divorce. I let it go, as I knew once a girl decides to move, it’s over. Courts accept the separation — the end of a beautiful marriage.
I agree I could have been sensitive; taking time to resolve them isn’t the right solution. Remember, in life, we don’t get a second chance. I considered myself far more successful and brilliant, and finally, I ended up alone. It was not until my counselor explained the reasoning for such a disaster. My counselor says, “Women expect their men to give quality time(get the quality part right); they don’t need your pay cheque; all they want is your attention & care.”
Life has to continue; no matter what, I must move on. I lived my way, transformed personally, got tattoos, acquired a jeep, and drove across the country for 30,000 miles. Joined a hiking club and went to Everest Base Camp. Cool?
Wenn es einen Gott gibt, muss er um Vergebung bitten
If there is a god, he has to beg my forgiveness